There is one thing they tell you in foster parent training that they don’t quite explain how it will relate to your daily life. They tell you that you cannot share any information about the case, the child’s family, the reason the child came into care, etc. Sounds like a no brainer, right?
Well once you have a child in your home you are around friends and family with that child. Your friends and family take an interest in that child. See where this is going? Even if they love that child and will not use that information to spread gossip or be hurtful, you cannot tell them about the case.
If something happens like a supervisor orders that overnight visits need to be started and you are very worried about that. You can express your feelings and vent to your friends, but they will want to know why you are worried. You can’t tell them that the child has been beaten badly, sexually abused, etc. You cannot share that.
You get to be secretive with your close friends. Whoopee! It doesn’t sound like fun because it really isn’t. Obviously sharing sensitive information with the lady behind you in the check out line isn’t something you will want to do, but sharing with a close friend will be.
You have to tread very carefully. Not only could you be hurting yourself by putting your foster license in jeopardy, you could be hurting a child or the parent that is working to overcome their wrongs.
That would be so hard.
ReplyDeleteI have a hard time not venting with a close friend when it's something so important to me.
WOW- that is so hard. I would think I would have a hard time not slipping up in casual conversation. Things that I know about the child could come out - or almost come out & I would have to try to back track & redirect where I was going. But it really is all in the best interests of the child & the situation.
ReplyDeleteReally well said. I'm an emergency foster mom and a mother of three. Foster parenting is a job in some ways, but it's also my life. When things are hard with my own children, I talk to my mom friends at the playground about it- compare notes, vent, get advice, etc. When things are sad or hard or scary with a foster child, I don't have the same outlet. Also, people are just inherently curious about foster care and particularly the circumstances that led to removal.I just say, "it's really not my story to tell."
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine how hard this is... I am someone who has a hard time not being able to share everything.
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