Why Would Anyone Want to Foster?

This post is blunt and to the point.  It is not meant to offend or guilt you.  I hope it helps you understand what your heart may be saying to you.

So why would anyone want to foster?  That is a valid question. 

Let’s say you have a friend that was very close to you and had known for years. That person makes some really bad choices and goes down a road that wasn’t good for them or their family.  You and your family know them well and care about them.  That person made some choices that got them in trouble and their child has to be removed from the home.  Would you take that child in need into your home until it was okay for them to go home? 

What if that wasn’t a friend?  What if it was your brother, sister, or cousin?  Does that change your answer?

I am not trying to make you feel guilty or anything.  I just want you to understand situations that foster care comes from.  You are not a bad person for saying no.  You may have things going on in your life that could not allow you to take that child.  You may be one of the many people out there that just are not meant to foster.  Don’t stop reading this, though.  I hope you will get valuable information about the foster care system.  With that information you can help this system in many ways without ever having to foster a child. 

If you said yes above, then would you consider opening your home to a different child?  A child that has nowhere to go?  You read that correctly.  Nowhere to go.

The foster care system tries to place children that are removed from a home with family first.  Sometimes that isn’t an option, though.  Family may not meet the licensing standards, may not want to care for the children, or have other constraints. 

So a child cannot stay with their parents and does not have family that is willing/able to take them.  That child is in need just like your friend’s child from above. 

But you don’t know them. 

Is it easier to say no to a child that isn’t right there?  Is it easier to say no when you can’t see the tears?  Is it easier to dismiss the idea of opening your home when you don’t know the child?  Um, yeah.  It is a lot easier.  I will be honest.  That is probably why I haven’t gone on a mission trip.  I would want to adopt every child in every orphanage.  My husband knows it, too (that is probably why he hasn’t encouraged me to go).

It is a huge leap.  I will admit that the situations are not alike.

But then again, they are.  It is a child in need.  A family in need of repair.  Your heart is receptive to this need.  You feel compelled to help.  But you reason with yourself by saying fostering is for older people; people with no children; people with grown children; people with lots of extra money; people with huge houses and extra space; people that are saintly; people that aren’t you. 

Sorry to put it so blunt, but that is what so many people think.  “Fostering is great…for other people to do.”  “Fostering is awesome, but I could never do it.”  That is fine if it is true.  If you have actually thought it out and decided, you have given more real thought than most people.  Because if you break it down and find out the real reason fostering isn’t for you, you might be surprised.

I have said it before and I will say it again, fostering is not right for everyone.  But if you have been thinking about it and are dragging your feet I need you to do one simple exercise.  Before you read any more of this series, write down all of the reasons you think fostering is not something you could do.  Keep that list handy.  We will probably talk about all of those things.

Sorry if this post was a little bit of a kick in the teeth.  I hope it wasn’t offensive or “in your face”.  That was not my intent.  I did say that I was going to keep this real and not sugar coat, though.  The good news is that this post is the only one like this.  So please come back tomorrow and learn about things you can do to mentally prepare yourself for becoming a foster parent.