There really is no quick and easily way to do this. You can’t just whip out a board book and your entire family is all on the same page a ready for this adventure. But I can tell you that talking to your kids about it is going to be a million times easier than talking to your family or friends for the first time about it.
Because to put it simply…kids get it. Children have bigger hearts than we give them credit for. They learn about a need that they can help with and their response is to help. They haven’t be jaded.
You know the best way to talk to your child about it. Just keep assuring them that they will always be yours, you will always love them, and that they can talk to you about anything. Because frustrations will build up, arguments will happen, and feelings will get hurt. That is how it is with all siblings, even foster siblings.
We have told our children that a child is coming to live with us, but not forever. They will stay with us until their Mommy or Daddy can get ready for them to come home. I explain to my five year old that it isn’t just their home that needs to get ready. Some mommies and daddies need extra help when they are having trouble. So foster care is like one really (really, really) long play date for us.
My children have grasped the concept of fostering really well. Honestly, many foster parents I talk with have said their children did astoundingly well understanding it.
My kids understood the reunification process, too. We would talk about how happy the foster kids were to visit their parents. We would talk about the visits with the foster kids after they returned. I talked to my kids about how they would miss me if they couldn’t live with me. That it would be okay to miss their friend, but also be happy for that friend to be back home where they belong. I will talk about reunification more later in the series.
But talking about the subject of fostering with your spouse, your parents, and your friends is a lot more difficult than talking with your kids. Just be that awesome parent that you are and keep reassuring them of their place in your home and heart.
Kids really do get certain things better than us adults. I'm glad your kiddos are open and willing. I'm sure your patience and big heart have a lot to do with it!
ReplyDeleteI have been catching up on this series tonight, and this post is one of my favorite so far... because it is so true that kids have an easier time opening their hearts without question! We can learn a thing or two from them for sure!
ReplyDeleteWe are soon starting a little course for foster parents here in Finland, as we have applied for being such.
ReplyDeleteWe have a friend, being the leader in a fostercare "house". That is a house where lives about 10 children and the grown-ups just are workers. I don't know if you have those in the US, but here in Finland we do, and now the cities want to start putting the children rather in homes than in these houses.
So this friend told us a couple of days ago, that if You want to ruin your kids lives, You take foster children in Your home.
Have You any experience on that? As as much as I feel that fostering is our thing, I need to know about this point too..
I'm happy I found Your site and I will be reading most carefully this "challenge".