Sunday, October 9, 2011

Communication is Key to Fostering

31 days button

Every person has weak spots.  You know the parts that you struggle with.  Well every relationship has weak spots, too.  Your relationship with your spouse, your children, your parents, etc.  Stress has a way of putting pressure on us and exposing those weak spots. 

The best way to avoid falling into a relationship pitfall is to address the stress head on.  Talk about it.  I know this sounds really elementary, but we don’t do it.  As busy people we just decide that it would be easier to ignore this or pretend that didn’t happen.  It would take more time and energy to address it than the conversation is probably worth.  Especially if you think it may end up in an argument.  So talk about it beofre it ends up as a huge argument.

Sounds simple.  It isn’t that simple, though.  I don’t care who you are.  Even if you are one of those people that easily brushes things off.  There is going to be some residual dust left behind.  That stuff piles up and it piles up fast. 

Imagine a stack of papers.  They aren’t very thick individually, but a lot of them can make a tall tower.  When you pick up a piece of paper it isn’t heavy at all, but a stack of them is pretty heavy. 

So you need to communicate with your children, with your family, and with your spouse.  Communicate about everything, but especially about foster care related things.  Let your kids know that they can come to you anytime to talk about frustrations with their foster siblings.  Address things as they come up.  It will keep the same things from coming up over and over.

Keep in contact with your friends.  It is so nice to have a conversation that doesn’t revolve around fostering.  Just about regular stuff. 

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