Let's Get Ready to Rumble!

If you follow me on facebook or twitter (if you don't you should, I would love to get to know you better) then you know that yesterday was "legal screening".  That is a term used in the state of Illinois for a meeting between the child protection services and the individual case worker to decide to start the termination process.  When a child enters the foster care system the goal is (almost) allows reunification.  Well sometimes parents do not cooperate with that, so they have a concurrent plan running while they are trying to reunify.  This meeting is to decide if they want to stop the reunification plan and go with the "other" plan. 

Well...they decided to go with us "others"!!

So next month we start the actual process of termination of parental rights.  It is a three step process in Illinois.  They start off with a First Appearance.  This is where all of the parties go before the judge and declare that termination is being sought.  Everyone says yes at this hearing.  There are no objections or anything.  That can all be done at the next phase.   The case is officially changed to termination of parental rights.

The second part of the process is the fitness trial.  This is where Little Lady's birth mom's fitness as a mother comes into question.  They will examine her actions with all of her children, with Little Lady, and her actions away from the children (while they have been in foster care).  Many things will come to question and have to be answered for.  I honestly hope to avoid this part of the trial completely.  We can if birth mom surrenders parental rights.  In the state of Illinois, if you have had two children taken from you permanently then every child after that will be automatically taken at birth and you have to prove you are fit to parent those children.  Whereas if she surrendered her rights to this child (already lost them for Little Man) she would still have the ability to retain custody of her children, assuming that no accusations or investigations remove them.  It is in her best interest to surrender her rights to this child if she plans to have more children. 

The really crappy thing for the future children is that once the parent releases their rights, they are out of the system and no one is keeping track of them.  They could be using drugs, abusing kids, and anything else they did to get their kids taken away in the first place.  This particular kind of parent has been non-compliant for their previous children and has a very high risk of repeating the same activities and endangering these future children.  You just kind of have to hope that someone sees something and reports it.  Kind of scary for these at risk kids.

But obviously we are are hoping for the option that she surrenders her rights.  It makes it faster and simpler for us. But the protective mom side of me has another reason.  I really do not want the birth mother's history and every single thing she has ever done wrong to be lined out in court.  This woman will still have a connection to the girl I love.  I want to protect her from this.  So I hope that her birth mother will step forward and do this for herself and her daughter.  She will have to surrender her rights before the second part of the trial begins.  Any later and they will just go forward with declaring her unfit. 

The third part of the process is called the best interest of the child.  This is where my husband and I will testify to the care we have given her, the case worker will testify that she believes the best interest for the child is to keep the baby in the only home she has ever known and with the only family she has ever known.  By this point the mother has been seen as unfit by the eyes of the court (not legally, yet) and they are deciding on the future of this specific child.  When this part is done, the judge will consider all of the facts and decide if the baby should become an orphan.  That is what they are doing.  They officially terminate parental rights, make the baby an orphan, and then award permanent custody to the state.  Right now the state has temporary custody over the baby.  The court will declare the baby is legally available for adoption.  Back in January we signed a letter of intention to adopt if applicable.  This will be submitted to the court.  The judge will know that be baby will not be an orphan for long.  The judge will know that we have every intention of making her legally ours. 

That is where we step in.  Once that process is all done (it could take 6 months or more) we get to start the adoption process.  Until that day we stand in court and they declare her a Young, she is still technically our foster child and a ward of the state.  The family court judge will order her our daughter.  The coolest thing about this process is that when that happens the state of Illinois will actually print a brand new birth certificate for the baby.  One with her new name on it and listing me and my husband as her official parents.  The birth place and time will all remain the same, but we are listed as her parents.  Isn't that cool?  I will, of course, be sure to get a copy of her first birth certificate because I know she will probably want it later in life. 

So that is what our future holds for us.  Hopefully the birth mom will grow accustomed to this.  She lives in the same town as we do.  Our paths cross often.  Since we have an open case, she cannot really say or do anything when we run into each other.  We both kind of go opposite directions (like seeing a bad ex).  But without an open case and the idea of getting her child back, there is nothing to stop her from causing a huge scene.  I pray that this will not happen. 

Honestly she has not done one thing in the past 18 months since her children got into foster care to have them returned to her, so I doubt she will really do anything.  She knew she was pregnant when they removed Little Man and did nothing to get him back or keep them from taking the baby.  So I don't really know how she will react.  My husband always reminds me that I am always trying to think rationally for people that aren't rational.  I just can't be in her mindset to know what she could be thinking.  I feel for her and I pray for her.  No matter how irrational she may be, losing her child permanently will be tough.  Than add the idea of seeing them randomly throughout their life happily with another family.  I just can't imagine.  But then I just can't imagine not using every bit of my energy to get and keep my children with me.